DIY Divorce & Mediation Preparation: Q&A Guide

Q1: What should I do if I feel powerless during my divorce?

Start with a mental shift. Focus on one small, tangible step — such as downloading your financial disclosure forms or drafting a position statement. Gaining clarity on your numbers will instantly give you more control.

Q2: Can I negotiate my divorce without hiring a lawyer?

Yes, but it requires preparation and commitment. You may still need an attorney to review paperwork or finalize filings, but you can save thousands by handling much of the fact-gathering and proposal drafting yourself.

Q3: Where should I start if I feel completely lost?

Begin with your finances:

• Pull your state’s financial disclosure forms

• Gather bank, credit card, mortgage, and loan statements

• Retrieve your credit report to spot unknown accounts

Q4: What is a divorce position statement, and why do I need one?

It’s your roadmap for mediation. It outlines your priorities, supporting evidence, and key facts. It keeps your team aligned and helps the mediator quickly understand your case.

When Should You Hire a Financial Mediator?

• You’re divorcing and have assets, debts, or a house to divide

• One or both of you owns a business

• You don’t fully understand your spouse’s financial picture

• You want to stay out of court and save money

• You’re in a high-conflict or emotionally manipulative situation

• You’re separating from a business partner

• You want to understand your options before making big decisions

The earlier you bring in a financial neutral, the better the outcome—especially if time and leverage are on your side.

Are you thinking about divorce but don’t know where to start?
Whether you’re preparing to file or simply trying to understand your options, this Circle session will guide you through the first—and most critical—steps before the legal process begins.

Join us as Tracy shares real-world strategies to help you:

• Navigate filing with intention (especially in high-conflict situations)

• Organize your financial disclosures (and gather documents quietly)

Protect yourself—emotionally, legally, and financially—from day one

Navigating a divorce in Missouri or Illinois? Before you rush to court, take a step back. The smartest move you can make is preparing a solid divorce settlement offer—especially if you're dealing with financial complexity, hidden money, or a high-conflict spouse.

At Divorce Saint Louis and The Divorce Allies, we offer divorce mediation services, business valuation expertise, and parenting plan guidance to help you move from fear to clarity.

In this blog, you’ll learn how to prepare a settlement offer step-by-step—guided by a St. Louis-based financial mediator and valuation expert with over 20 years of courtroom and mediation experience.

Gather Relevant Documents:

Compile all necessary financial and legal documents, including income statements, tax returns, property deeds, and information about assets and debts. Having this information ready will help facilitate the mediation process.

By knowing about these red flags or fraud tactics, people can navigate divorce proceedings more effectively and ensure fair sharing of assets. Being open and careful is crucial for protecting one's financial interests during this difficult time.

What is a CDFA or certified divorce financial analyst? When you are thinking about getting divorced, there are many people who can provide financial services to assist you and your attorney, a CDFA is one option.

“As you can imagine, when friends start to talk about business and money, the conversations start to get pretty difficult”

When you have contemplated divorce, there are many people who provide consulting and financial services to assist you and your attorney – some people will ask, what is a financial neutral in family mediation?